Saturday, July 21, 2001

sorry, sorry. I know that I haven't been as diligent as normal. not that I am normally. does anyone ever read this pathetic thing? um, no. sometimes I wish that it was read and that whoever read it understood or related to what I was saying. sometimes its just rambles of nothing. usually. anyway, so I started writing this really long like paragraph type thing in word one day when I couldn't connect to the internet and I really wanted to have my thoughts down semi-permanently. I think that I will copy and paste it one day into here just so that cyberspace can see. I'll say "see cyberspace." you know why I love music so much? it is constant. I mean the artists that I am listening to may change depending on mood and what my taste is at the present moment but basically it is constant. it is there when I want to drown out whatever. Mayer 's lyrics are so relative to my life. I can relate to feeling forlorn over love "or lack thereof." and what is the real world? I feel like I have been living in the real world my whole life. full of dull emotion sometimes. full of overwhelming emotion sometimes. there was never any dividing line that separated the real world with the fake.
so, in this situation that I am in what am I supposed to do? girl meets boy. girl and boy both seem to like each other. girl calls boy. boy says I'll call you back. boy is mute and doesn't know how to use a phone or so girl thinks. or what boy meant was that he would call back... someday. am I supposed to write out personal scented invitations with confetti inside for this event?? its a 2 person party and only one person shows up. some party. the beer was non-alcoholic, there was no stripper and even though the dip sucked you still ate it. all. it's like a double-edged sword too. you don't call enough, obviously you don't care. you call too much and suddenly you are attached. uh, no, I would just like to interact with another warm body, specifically male, and possibly sometime this century. conversation would be a big plus too. you would think that I was asking for Matthew McConaughey to come-a-knockin' on my door.